I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
