New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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