I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
