So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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