in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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