I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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