If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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