He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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