you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
