i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
