yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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