i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
