On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
