Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
