Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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