Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
