Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
