During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Let's get the cat blown out
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
