I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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