Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
