When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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