is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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