Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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