Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
