It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
