Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
