Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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