9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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