Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize