things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
