Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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