just survived the first fart of the relationship.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize