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Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
