We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Pants are for mortals
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
