I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
