They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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