Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
