You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just google imaged poop.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
