he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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