she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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