I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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