im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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