if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
