Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
it was like eating out sand paper
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
