i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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