How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
