make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
