I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
