gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The uberlube is also flammable
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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