Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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