but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
