Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
