A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize