I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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