I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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