I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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