is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
