I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
