Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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