it's too hot outside to masturbate.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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